Ryley writes: My future mother-in-law, Maria, recently discovered the “Frosty Slaw Man Salad,” a recipe from a 1960s mayonnaise marketing campaign. It’s a mayo-gelatin-cottage-cheese-cabbage concoction in the shape of a demonic snowman. She is determined to make it! Her husband, Daniel, is vehemently opposed. Who is right?
Anyone with the internet who has encountered the Slaw Man knows that he is horrifying to behold. But that’s not the issue here. This is between Maria and Daniel. And as their future son-in-law, you’re in a particularly perilous position to start stirring up slaw in their marriage. So I will take the burden off you. Maria, make it! Get this creamy demon out of your system. And Ryley, you can comfort your future father-in-law by reminding him: A snowman melting is sad. A slaw man being consumed, chunk by dripping chunk, is justice.